SOAR XLV Memorial Breakfast:

A Brother’s Tribute

By Jim Suber
Speech delivered at the Special Operations Association’s Unreturned Heroes Memorial Breakfast at SOAR XLV, October 20, 2021
All accompanying photos are courtesy of Jim Suber

Thank You:

On behalf of the family members here this morning and, I’m sure, MIA families everywhere, “thank you” for this beautiful ceremony honoring these 132 heroes—And very special “thank you” to Bonnie Cooper for that tremendous presentation.

It is a privilege to be here—especially with these MIA families. Each one has an amazing story. I wish there was time for all of them to speak here today. If you have the chance, please ask them about their loved-one and their individual search for answers.

Thank you to the Special Operations Association, the Special Forces Association, and to the Special Forces Charitable Trust. Special thanks to SFA Chapter #78 in Orange County, California—for including my family in its chapter. It has been awesome!

Thank you to the National League of POW/MIA Families – especially to Ann Mills Griffiths. She is amazing. Her leadership, dedication, and sheer tenacity have produced results, and we are all very grateful!

Thank you, of course, to the DPAA and to Stony Beach in (what is and has always been) a mission far beyond challenging.

I must also say how grateful I am for the extraordinary American value to do everything possible to return all warriors home. This is not only morally right, but, also, uniquely American. Thank goodness President Reagan re-established this standard forty years ago. It not only prioritized the return of all Missing warriors, but—still to this day—assures all “active-duty” military that the United States is committed to returning each warrior home. It took me a long time to finally understand that bigger purpose, but I now do—and it’s made all the difference to our family.

Background:

My oldest brother, Sergeant First Class Randy Suber, was the assistant team leader on Recon Team Oregon in MACV-SOG, Command & Control North. The 6-man team, led by “1-0” Staff Sergeant Ron Ray, was listed as Missing-in-Action on November 13, 1969. The brief report said that the team was “attacked and overrun by a numerically superior enemy force” around 1600 hours about 15 miles inside Laos in Saravane Province. The report said that three of the four indigenous team members were killed, and that both Ron Ray and Randy Suber were wounded and unresponsive. The surviving team member, Nguyen Van Bon, was rescued several days later. Interestingly, all four indigenous team members were previously in the North Vietnamese Army—fighting against the United States just one year earlier. 

That short report was all the communication provided to my family for many years. At that time, we had no knowledge about “The Secret War” or the requirement for those who served in it to sign an agreement prohibiting any communication about their activities for 20 years. The only clue was that the team was lost in Laos – not in Vietnam—and that American soldiers were not supposed to be there. 

I was eleven years old at the time. My sister, Mardy, was 3 years older than Randy, and brother, Steve, was 3 years younger than Randy. My Dad was a career Air Force officer – a World War II combat veteran with the Distinguished Flying Cross, and, at the time RT Oregon went missing, was the commanding recruiter for Missouri and Illinois. My mother came from a long line of distinguished career military professionals serving in every war since the Revolutionary War. 

Randy Suber was fascinated with adventure, risk, danger and independence. Sound like anyone else you know?? By twenty years old, he climbed the Matterhorn (instead of final exams for his first and only Spring semester), road a motorcycle from Munich to St. Petersburg in the Soviet Union, swam the Bosphorus, backpacked to the Mount of the Eternal Flame in Eastern Turkey, and ran with the bulls in Pamplona. Before all of that, he was an All-State running back on two state championship football teams at New Mexico Military Institute. He was amazing, and, absolutely, my hero.

We, of course, were devastated by the loss of Randy. All things considered, my parents showed incredible strength, wisdom and compassion. They were also, remarkably, quiet; perhaps too quiet. It was as if they, too, had signed that 20-year confidentiality agreement – even though we did not know it existed!! Other than a small group of trusted friends and family, we did not talk about Randy outside of our home.

My parents loyally attended League of Families meetings every year they could. I joined them for one League meeting in the mid 1980’s when I was in my twenties. It was depressing.

While there, I met the youngest brother of Sergeant First Class Donnie Shue – another MACV-SOG Command & Control North Recon man. That team was lost in Laos just 10 days before my brother’s team. We had a lot in common, but not much to say… neither with enough information to have a meaningful conversation. Perhaps that would have been different a few years later after articles and books about The Secret War began to surface.

As you know, Donnie Shue and his teammates, Gunther Wald and Bill Brown were recovered in 2010, and buried at Arlington Cemetery in August 2012.

Like all MIA families, there were plenty of sad moments for us.

Do you remember in the early 1970’s being encouraged by the DOD to send a “care package” to your loved-one? It was as if someone thought this was a “sneaky way” to get North Vietnam to confirm that your loved-one was a prisoner-of-war. Exactly as instructed, my mom mailed the “care package” directly to a prison in North Vietnam.

As part of the package, she included a beautiful pair of wool socks that she had knit. The package was returned to us several months later – directly from that prison. Everything was intact except for the wool socks – which some North Vietnamese soldier had decided to keep. Why not just keep the whole package? Why spend the time or postage to return it? That was weird and disheartening.

My sister and brother still find it much too painful to talk about Randy. So, we rarely do. Unlike my siblings, I wanted answers to three questions:

1. What were Randy’s activities in the War – particularly outside UN sanctioned borders?
2. What really happened to him? and
3. Why haven’t we met anyone who knew or served with him?

My wife, Irene, and son, James—both here today—along with our three daughters have been incredibly supportive. My son, James—with his own curiosity, love for history, and outstanding research skills, joined me on this, in a big way, over the last ten years. He took my research—and then added even more.

Big Breakthrough:

The Department of Defense scheduled a “Families Update Meeting” in San Diego in January 2018. I did not want to attend. I disregarded three different invitations. A few weeks before the meeting, though, a loud thought suddenly came to me. (It was a new thought—especially after 48 years, and, definitely not my thought.)

The purpose of attending that meeting was not to learn more about my brother’s case; instead, it was to support the much bigger mission—

to support all family members, all DPAA and Stony Beach professionals, and, most of all, all current “active-duty” military everywhere—reinforcing that extraordinary American standard of returning all warriors home.

That single thought lifted the weight off me. It gave me new purpose, freedom, and joy. So, then, I knew that I needed to attend!

The meeting was packed. It included families from the Vietnam War, Korean War and World War II. During the “sharing” period, Barbara Birchim (here today—the wife of MIA MACV-SOG recon man James Birchim) encouraged family members to learn about their loved-one’s military alumni groups. That idea had never occurred to me. Truthfully, I did not know there was an organization like the SOA. I certainly knew about the League of Families, but had not attended a meeting since the one mentioned earlier. Apparently, men from SOA started attending League meetings—in a meaningful way—after my parents passed on.

Mike Taylor also asked that I provide some perspective, as a MIA family member, on the efforts of SOA and SFA on the accounting mission.

First, to us, YES, your efforts have, no doubt, contributed to the return of many men. Keep it up, please – especially for the 132 men honored here today! I don’t know what specific strategies and tactics can produce even better results, but I am sure that your leadership team is working on that.

Second, for each one of you—keep telling your story! Writing – books, articles, poetry—public speaking, media interviews, podcast interviews, motorcycle campaigns, road races, golf tournaments, whatever!

Your stories are incredibly inspiring – exhibiting uncommon duty, honor, and courage under the most extreme circumstances! I promise you—it is not just Americans hungering to learn more about your experiences, but, also, people throughout the “free world.” Especially now, the world really needs what you can share with them.

Last, please continue to proactively connect with all SOA MIA family members. In fact, I would expand that effort to include the resolved MIA case families and KIA families. Connect them to their surviving comrades. Share stories. Share photos, please! These connections have made all the difference for us. I think it will help everyone!

Conclusion:

I hope I have provided a little more insight from one MIA family’s experience.

Thank you, again, for today’s beautiful ceremony, and God bless America!